I was talking to a friend recently and she told me
that she had been rather sad lately, feeling like there was ‘a darkness’ within
her.
“You
know, I have to tell you that I feel,” (and she hesitated here) “that I am in
resonance with death. I want to know if you are also in resonance with death
since you work with death so much. How in the world, I mean, I really want to
know, how do you manage the sadness from hearing what horrible things people do
to each other, much less listening to what a ghost would have to say about how
and why he or she died. I guess if I seem bewildered by my own feelings, I am
even more baffled by what you do.”
“The difference
between what I do, and your feelings is really quite simple: you are actively grieving. I’m not.”
You are currently
grieving the death of your mother within the last year. When we grieve, we
automatically review our life with that person. Those feelings engender the memories of the grief you were never
allowed to work through with the death of your father when you were a small
girl. So, literally, you are grieving the loss of both of your parents, the
cascade of abusive events that happened to you after your father died and the
struggle you have had with these feelings for almost forty years. That’s a huge
amount of emotion to try to process and yet live day to day, of being a mom, a
wife, a friend and a sibling.”
“Yes,
all of that’s true, but I am also concerned, fearful that something will happen
to my husband and my children. What if they die? Don’t you ever worry about
these things in the work that you do?”
She persisted in wanting to understand why I am not
sad all the time.
“When a person is grieving, one of the unwelcome
persistent ‘guests’ who never seems to leave you is fear. Fear for the death of other loved ones, fear for the death
of friends, guilt over the people who have left you and then finally fear of or
for your own eventual death. When people grieve, they seldom realize that the safety
of the world they knew is shattered and that feeling they used to remember of
being ‘safe’ is now gone, sometimes forever, but not always. You can regain
that feeling of safety. However you look at it that ‘fear’ feeling also
translates into very ‘sad’ or ‘dark’ feelings. Grief work together is
specifically designed to bring the light back into your life.”
“Yes, I get all that, and all that you described is
true for me, but I want to know what do
you do so that you don’t grieve the people you help and are not profoundly
saddened by what you hear?”
“Okay, well, yes,
it’s true: I do hear things that would make the angels weep. Some of it is so
profoundly sad that I have to take a deep breath to keep on going. However, I
am a student of karma. I am a journeyman on the road of life and I respect all
of life’s processes. To this end, I work very hard to stay in resonance with
life itself, with happiness and with love. Only love heals. I also have a
tremendous personal support system. One of the by products of grieving is the
feeling that you are alone in a sea of people, that no one understand you, but
that isn’t true. Lots of people are grieving and even more people are dedicated
to living a wonderful life.
Everywhere I go,
I meet amazing people, people who have triumphed over adversity, who have met
life’s challenges with grace and courage. These are the people who give me
hope, who help me to face another day of hearing sad things. I also have the
privilege of watching people heal, progress and conquer that which has held
them back, brought them pain or sadness. People
do heal. People can and do change and people rise above the sadness and find
happiness. Frankly, if I couldn’t see this, I probably couldn’t go forward
with this type of work.
Working with the dead is an honor and a privilege.
There is an intense gratification in helping a person who has been lost and
alone, guilt ridden and full of pain, find the light, feel healing and release
the burden of life in the 4th dimension. Every single soul I can assist
brings me a sense of completing my mission, which is to help them.
One less soul in the astral plane is one less soul who
burdens the earth as a ghost. The more the earth is cleaned, the better and
happier the world will be.
I stay in resonance with life by working with my
plants, feeling the life that springs from the earth. I rejoice in my very long
and happy almost 40 year marriage. I spend time with my adult children and the
wonderful people that each of them married and finally I spend time with my
grandchildren. I delight in the pleasure of all of them. I am truly blessed
with a deep and abiding loving relationship with all of my siblings. I have
long and meaningful relationships with friends in many parts of the country. Every
single one of these people, bring me happiness. I am deeply grateful to have
them in my life.
I am in resonance with the understanding that life is
not about static living. Life, the dynamic of soul evolution is going to mean
that people are going to have challenging experiences, wonderful events and
horrific scenarios that each of them have to face. No one leads a ‘charmed’
life. Every single soul on the planet comes in with karmic challenges that they
are each required to face, if not this life time, then the next and the next.
New growth whether it is within a person or a plant,
is life’s longing for expression. Sometimes that new growth has to work though
cement and sometimes it has wonderful rich soil. Which will be the stronger
plant? Both of them can be strong or both of them can perish. Each has to
decide how to deal with the opportunity given.
I do know what grief feels like. I know what it’s like
to wonder how life can go on seemingly happy, and you feel like your life has
led you off a cliff. I know. I also know that hard spiritual/emotional work can
heal those grinding days. That’s why I am not now, nor will I ever be in
resonance with death. Only loving life heals you and keeps you happily, among
the living.”
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