KS&L 362 Tools of Karma part 5, Spiritual Role Models

Organized, corporate religions are their own role model. These organizations have a very specific, often rigid structure, which unfortunately, in many instances discourages uncomfortable questions, new discoveries or controversial philosophies. Many of them have a predictable script, which never seems to vary. If you don’t provide the right answer according to the script, then you are not of that religious ‘body.’

My first role model was the Catholic Church. While there are, I am sure, wonderful people who attend and who administer church doctrine, I did not find that. Imagine being nine years old and being told that your parents are living in mortal sin because they are practicing birth control. I remember thinking how bizarre it was for the priest to be punishing me for something I wasn’t supposed to even know about, much less actually do something about. I also found it presumptions for this never-married man to judge a family for its decisions of responsibility: he certainly didn’t have to feed, clothe or educate four children. How dare he judge any of us! Needless to say, I was thrilled when we walked away from that suffocating place. However, it was a most enlightening experience of an ‘abuse of power’ role model.

My next religious experience were the various people I met, who attended all the various churches in the city of Greensboro, North Carolina where we lived. We tried other churches, but the script was always the same: You are born in sin and you will die in sin. We are all sinners every one: sinners! Sinners! Sinners! Everyone wanted to know if we had found Christ – as if somehow he was lost, and we had to find him. If you answer no to that question (because you never actually lost him), then you aren’t ‘Christian.’ If you answer yes to that question, then you have to identify what church you go to, who your pastor is and how many times a week you go to church. I was also told, repeatedly, that if you did not believe as they believed that no matter how good you are as a person, you will, at death go immediately to hell. That seemed like quite a lot of fear to me. Obviously these folks believed that they were all the chosen ones. These religious people were role models for what being judgmental and fearful looked and felt like.

Then I discovered Buddhist philosophy, the concept of opening your heart to all people, all living things. This was totally refreshing. This philosophy, and the people who walked this path taught me what it looks and feels like to be non-judgmental. They offered an example of kindness and openness. The Dalai Lama is still that spiritual role model for me to this day. My own spiritual teacher, Tashi Leo is a most precious role model in the honored tradition of the Dalai Lama. Tashi's patience with my personality is a constant reminder for me as I approach each new situation.

In my spiritual studies, I discovered all kinds of people who claimed to be the reincarnation of some great person, or of being totally ‘enlightened’ and of having ‘great powers.’ I quickly realized that none of these people, no matter how well intentioned, were the real thing. Many were examples of people who thought they had power and who really had very little.

However, along my fascinating path, I discovered a man named Edgar Cayce, a psychic who eventually founded the Association for Research and Enlightenment, in Virginia Beach Virginia. This was a man who discovered from an early age that he truly had a unique psychic ability. As he matured, this ability manifested in an astonishing ability to go into trance and allow what was termed a Universal Spirit of goodness to over-shadow him. At this point he was able to provide absolutely accurate information on diagnosis and healing of various clients anywhere in the world.

Mr. Cayce was a simple man, an ordinary man who had a devout and unshakable belief in God, in Christ and in his own Divine connection – and yet he was utterly honest, true to himself and his family. He was a psychic, yet he was humble, kind, caring and above all dedicated to the service of mankind. Perhaps he is my favorite spiritual role model because he taught by example the need to love and care for all humanity. In the purity of the soul that was Edgar Cayce, we have the embodiment of the message that Christ came to Earth to share: love one another. Help one another in whatever capacity you are able to provide. Respect the path of another, whether or not that person goes to your church!

Cayce reminded me to remember that you cannot heal everyone. Christ did not heal everyone because not everyone had the karma to be healed – and that is also true today. Help those you can and then respect their path without judgment.

Edgar Cayce was willing to look at things outside of his original range of knowledge. He did his spiritual job to the best of his ability. He loved with all of his heart. At the end of his precious life, he could look back and marvel at all he had learned and all the lives he felt he had humbly touched. Perhaps he felt honored to have been allowed to have that ability and to use it, the way that he did.

Perhaps Edgar Cayce represented the best role model I could have, because he was a flawed human being who did his best every day, accepted those tough days and still keep going, lighting the way with his own goodness. I can only hope to fill a tiny portion of the giant footprints Mr. Cayce so generously left behind.

KS&L 361 Role Models - Tools of Karma Part 4: My Own Life Role Models

My favorite Negative Childhood Role Models:

1960 - 5^th Grade Teacher speaking to me [in front of the entire class]: “I cannot believe anyone can have handwriting this horrible. No one in class should play with this child because her handwriting is so bad!”

Blessedly, my mother stood up for me. This teacher taught me how cruel and hurtful words can be.

I learned that you could stand up to a teacher. I also learned that when a parent stands up for a child against an authority figure, that the child gains great courage and learns to believe in herself.

1963, - 8^th Grade Teacher who was also the assistant principal [in front of the entire class]: “Perhaps the Jews deserved what happened to them in Germany in World War II. The Jews aren’t very good people, really.”

In this case, I stood up in class, the only one, by the way, and defended the Jewish people, pointing out their contributions to civilization throughout history and reminding him that six million of these human beings were massacred by the Nazis. I then marched out of class, went to the principal’s office and called my Mother. Again, she stood up for my actions, and the teacher/assistant principal had to apologize to the class and to the Jewish people he had maligned.

I learned that just because a person is in a position of authority, does not mean that he or she is speaking the truth and that if you stand up to lies, the liar, the wrong doer has to back down. Truth will set you free if you have the courage to speak up.

1964, 9^th Grade Algebra Teacher to me in front of the entire class: “Your algebra test scores prove to me that you are an idiot in math.” [Hard to believe isn’t it!]

Rather than being her victim, I stood up in class and said:

“How dare you share my test scores in class and try to humiliate me in public! You are an incompetent teacher and I am leaving your class permanently!” . . . . and then I marched to the principal’s office and filed an official complaint against her. As I walked out of the room, I heard the entire class erupt in applause and cheer me on for standing up to this chronically cruel woman. I did not need my mother at this point. I could stand up for myself quite well.

These teachers above weren’t just cruel, insensitive and incompetent to me alone. I had witnessed them do these cruel things to countless students. When it came to be my turn, I refused to stand for it. Perhaps I gave other students courage. I was grateful to my Mother for teaching me to stand up for what is right and for being my role model for this critical trait.

Positive Role Models:

1960-1963 Star Trek’s Captain Kirk

As a teenager, I watched all of the Star Trek series, over and over and over. I watched it in college. Again and again, the Captain Kirk character faced insurmountable odds and always used creative problem solving to resolve every single issue. He was clever, good to his crew, willing to listen to opposing viewpoints, courageous, loyal and kind, but above all he was a powerful leader. The most important trait that I valued was his leadership skills. Even today, few people portray leadership skills at this level. This character demonstrated how to be a good Naval Officer because that was what he was. The Captain of the Enterprise was not a super hero. He was fallible, he became tired of the struggle at times and he knew the taste of failure, yet he never stopped. He never gave up. The Captain Kirk character taught me how to be the captain of my own life and lead others with integrity, honor and courage.

1976 Josephine Gallucci

From 1976-1979 my husband and I were stationed in Naples, Italy. We were both Lieutenants at the time. During one lovely party, someone introduced us to this eccentric art dealer by the name of Josephine Gallucci.

Josephine was 83 years old when I met her in. She was my art dealer and my friend. I loved her because every single person she met was fascinating to her. Every person’s story was unique and she made you feel unique while she was listening to you. Yet, listening to her was mesmerizing! What a life! One day, I was at a party at her villa with its floor to ceiling art, and we were all speaking Italian. Finally everyone left and it was just the two of us. We were still speaking Italian and I realized that I had no Italian vocabulary left in me and asked her if we could switch to English. She laughed and said of course! Then she became quite serious.

“Tina, do I seem old to you? After all, I’m 85 now.”

“Josephine, you will never be old! Chronology does not define you. You are ageless to me. Your years only make you more fascinating. They do not make you old. You will never be old to me.”

“Really? So you don’t think I’m old?”

“Oh no, you will never be old.”

“Whew! I am so glad you reassured me. I don’t feel old. I walk 4 miles a night, still enjoy my 40 year old lover and love the life I am living and all the people in it. I don’t think I will ever accept being old. Why should I? It doesn’t define me. Life defines me!”

Josephine was the epitome of a life elegantly well lived. Hers was a life defined by the texture of so many relationships, rich in the wealth of art that surrounded her and happy with the love with which she approached her every moment. That type of life is how I choose to define my own life!

Throughout my life I have met many people who taught me what love and compassion weren’t and what they were. Literally, I feel enriched to have had many hundreds of role models from my wonderful family to all the amazing Navy people I have met, to my friends and neighbors.

Each person played a part in creating who I am today. I am eternally grateful to each of them for the powerful lessons I have learned from them. Such is the power of the role models who help to shape our lives in increasingly positive ways. Ultimately this can be true for you, if that is the choice you choose to make in how to look at each experience karma presents to you!

KS&L 359 Role Models - Tools of Karma Part 2 Negative Role Models

Next we will look at negative role models and the powerful roles they play in your life. Remember the schoolyard bully - you know who he is - you well remember how humiliated he made you. He always instilled fear in you with his intimidating and abusive power. Or perhaps you wince when you recall the mean girl in school. She was a role model of what shallow, pitiful, petty, power looked and felt like. You and the rest of the world will always be reminded of the hated schoolteacher who was so cruel that you could not believe she was allowed to have access to children. Sometimes your negative role model was a cruel sibling, parent or grandparent. Family members have a tendency to teach us often, bitter lessons of what toxic behavior looks and feels like.

All of these personalities are each tremendously important role models of behavior that can hurt and harm. However, it is important to remember, that karma never wastes any energy and the energy of that experience happened for a critical reason.

That purpose was to teach you to stand up for yourself, to learn to find your strength and courage. However, if you did not learn that lesson at home or in school, the lesson repeated itself in college with the abusive professor or roommate, or even boy or girlfriend. Still didn't learn that lesson of standing up for yourself? Then your brutal spouse or boss would be put into a role to keep trying to teach you. Still didn't learn that lesson? Wait, do you see the pattern here? Karma put each negative role model in front of you to teach you a lesson and each time you walked away from the lesson, karma put a new teacher in front of you. Did you notice that the lessons kept getting harder and harder?

In this scenario with very negative, toxic role models, karma used each person as a teacher for you and when you choose to ignore the lesson, instead of understanding that it was a lesson for your higher good, you decided to become a victim personality. “Why me?” you probably asked, “What did I ever do to deserve this?”

One of the key elements to consider is that when a student is ready, a teacher is placed in front of them. Sometimes that teacher is malicious, perhaps even brutal. However, if you want to learn how to stand up to that merciless person, you have to seek out a positive teacher to help you. The synchronicity of finding that teacher is not merely serendipity but spiritual timing at its finest.

When this person appears, you will be most wise to see if you can recognize him or her and take full advantage of the offer of help.

Karma is always fair, always just even when it does not seem that way. You know intimately who your negative role models are, but ask yourself, did you recognize the fact that karma also placed inspiring role model(s) in your path? Did you allow the detrimental people in your life the power to cripple your life or did you use those same people as steppingstones to climb the mountain of life with strength and courage as well as love as compassion?

We come for spiritual growth in each life and difficult people are placed in front of us for the purpose of helping us to grow, not merely to harm us. Sometimes, your facing them with inner power and fortitude teaches them a lesson. You are teaching them that they cannot continue to behave in this fashion. Ultimately you become a tool of karma for the other person’s growth as well. Karma never wastes a moment of energy, neither yours nor anyone else’s.

In part 3, we will explore positive role models!

KS&L 358 Role Models - Tools of Karma Part 1

The concept of role models is very important for each of us to consider. Many people are extremely fortunate to have a beloved parent or sibling as their role model or even a treasured grandparent or teacher. Sometimes you emulate a person you admire without specifically considering them a role model, but in essence, that is just what they are. You tend to think of a role model as a wonderful person.

The criteria for a role model, is varied. Sometimes a person's ethics make them a role model. Sometimes it is their compassion. For another, the person he or she admires may be especially loving or giving. For someone else, his or her ideal could be a financially successful person, the one who made it to the top.

However, sometimes role models represent the absolute worst that a person can be. Hard to believe that someone like that could be considered a role model, but it is possible. The Tibetans note that your enemy is your greatest teacher precisely because of how much we can learn from this person. Role models come in many forms and influence us in a myriad of ways. However, there are some universal aspects that make a person a role model:

1. The person has to epitomize being the best or worst at something, and that 'something' could be anything from pie making to mothering, leadership to moneymaking and an entire plethora of theme and variation of all traits.

2. The heights the person has attained, whether good or bad, have to be achievable. You have to feel that you can or could get there or end up there, yourself.

3. The characteristics the person epitomizes have to be unique and stand out.

4. Who they are either inspires or revolts you on a very personal level.

5. Their behavior is consistent – he or she does not change over time. If he is very good, then he’ll remain so and never leave that glorious pedestal. Conversely, the very fact that a role model with some terrible trait never changes is part of why you so remember them. Their terrible behavior sticks in your memory.

6. You remember her for your entire life. No matter how old you get, that personality is part of your life experience.

7. There is an event associated with this personality, one quintessential moment in time is seared in your memory by how he or she acted, reacted or behaved in a given moment.

8. You never forget her name.

9. You never forget his behavior.

10. This person in some way causes you to change your behavior for better or for worse forever.

11. You find that you will always be grateful to this person when you think of him or her, for the powerful lesson(s) he or she taught you.

12. The person may or may not know that you think this way about him or her.

13. One or more of your role models can create the desire in you to become that kind of role model for someone else.

14. One or more of your more sordid role models can inspire you to never become like them!

Think back over your life. You know these people. This is why you can have more than one role model. No one lives a long, rich life full of valuable experiences without having many role models of all kinds, in their emotional scrapbook. Part two will explore the position that negative role models play in your life.