KS&L 176 The Death of Innocence by Tina Erwin

        Dear Friends, I wrote the following blog several years ago. The information in this piece echos the same cruel and inspiring elements that we have watched in the events in Newtown, Connecticut last Friday. My own aching heart goes out to all of those families. The extreme cruelty of this latest example of modern violence does not diminish the staggering acts of courage displayed by all of those teachers, staff members and children. Let all of our prayers be sent to give the living courage to face the challenging days ahead, for death on this level continues to echo out in truly agonizing ways long after the initial event. These families have many difficult days ahead of them. Please send them your prayers long after these first initial days pass. Compassion is appreciated no matter how recent or long ago an event took place.

       On one terrible day in October of 2006, death struck the Amish community in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. On that tragic day, a man entered a one-room schoolhouse and shot ten Amish girls. Five of them have died. The person who took these lives is believed to have been severely mentally ill at the time of the event. He did not seem to show this illness previously so his actions came as a staggering shock to his friends and family.

       How do we as a people wrap our brains around the fact that this man did this terrible deed? How do we still our aching hearts at the sheer barbarism of his despicable act? How do we come to terms with the death of innocence? If we are parents, how do we still the fear that this engenders in so many of us. If this area of the world is not safe, then what is?

       Perhaps the way we come to terms with it is to look at the example that the Amish themselves have set. They have not lashed out. They have not blamed anyone and they have not cried out for vengeance. In the darkest of times is the finest time to live a spiritual truth. Perhaps that is what they are doing.

       Every single death has a purpose; if it did not, then why would we ever die? Why would there be so many methods of death - easy and hard, painless and painful, death at any and all ages? What could possibly be the purpose of the death of these little girls? What could we possibly learn from the sheer stark horror of the method this man used to create such harm?

       Perhaps, just perhaps it was an opportunity for every single participant and observer to learn some tremendous lessons. For the older Amish girls, they learned that they had a huge level of courage that lived within them as they offered themselves in sacrifice to save the younger girls. They must have been terrified yet they offered their own lives in the ultimate sacrifice. Would we be that courageous? 

       It is hard for us to face the fear that the smaller girls must have felt, but in the final moments, they learned how much the older children loved them. Perhaps it was their faith that got them through those chilling moments.  Perhaps they called upon their angels. We can only hope that they had the presence of mind to do this.

       And what of the mentally ill gunman? What was his lesson? He had a choice - he could listen to those unrelenting voices of hate and hurt or he could resist them.  He made a tragic choice.

       And what of his family? They were also his victims in a different way because they also lost someone they loved. The man they loved died that day. The man who committed those crimes was not the man that they knew.  Imagine their complete bewilderment. 

       Perhaps the most important lesson all of us can learn from these deaths is the nature of compassion as demonstrated by the Amish community.  There is no one to blame, no one to lash out at. There is no plausible explanation for the unexplainable.  So in the face of all of this, the Amish have chosen to offer themselves and those grieving with them, compassion. They say that they have forgiven the gunman.  What in truth is there to forgive? How do you forgive someone for murdering your children? Perhaps the answer to this is that they forgave themselves first. There is nothing in this entire world that they could have done to prevent this. They did not let guilt soil their compassionate hearts. They forgave the hate that this man displayed.  Somehow despite their pain, they came to understand that his pain was so great that only in this bizarre aspect of death could he work out his internal agony.

       The Amish are allowing themselves to grieve privately. They allow themselves the opportunity to let grief unfold in all those hauntingly private moments of what ifs and if onlys that every grieving person must endure on the journey to healing grief.

       Perhaps the other lesson the Amish are offering is that if they open their hearts and love more that their pain will be less. An open heart works both ways and lets in love as well as sends it out. Even a terribly wounded heart will heal faster if it can be allowed in those private moments of healing, to send out love. 

       Maybe the question is not did innocence die in that schoolhouse that day in October, but rather was the innocence of belief displayed in the compassion and love shown by the Amish to all the grieving parties. Hate hurts us longer. Love heals us faster. Perhaps the biggest lesson of that hard day is in every way, let us all love more. Let us all send the love of our own compassionate hearts to all of those who are grieving no matter where in the world they may be. Maybe in this way the innocence and purity that is the essence of love will become stronger in all of us.