Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day!

by Tina Erwin
Excerpt from The Lightworker's Guide to Everyday Karma [2011]

The Spiritual Philosophy of What Constitutes a Perfect Mother

         "No matter where you come from, somehow you are born with a spiritual philosophy of what constitutes a perfect mother. When your mortal mother does not live up to that spiritual philosophy, you begin to stack up her failings. Sometimes you identify a difficult father, but about 99% of the time, you instantly recount the failings of your mother. Why is this?
         When you are in the heaven world, you look down on the parents you pick. If you can, you try to communicate with your mother. You also have a unique vantage point in the heaven world of seeing all the kinds of mothers out there and getting a good handle on what a fantastic mother should be. When you are born, you are sure you know what a perfect mother should be, and you are exceptionally sure of how to identify a bad mother. However, the reality is that we pick the mother we pick for the lessons she is going to teach us, no matter what kind of a mother she turns out to be.
         The spiritual philosophy of what constitutes a perfect mother transcends all religions, all cultures and all times. A perfect mother, it turns out, is a perfect mother in all types of adversity. . . . .
          A perfect mother balances everything with grace, no matter what has happened to her in her life, whether it is a death, job loss or hardship. She lives her wisdom. However, the reality is that few mothers make it to the category of perfect mothers. Hint: sometimes life happens to them!

There is No Learning in Perfection
         Everyone comes here for the experience that mortal life offers, including the experience of motherhood. Mothers are mortal; they make mistakes, get tired and rue certain days. Sometimes their judgment is cloudy; sometimes they do what their mothers did, even if it was a lousy thing to do.
         Mothers are often astonished at how profoundly difficult being a parent actually is and why, for some mothers, no matter what they do, their children do not respect them.
         Mothers very often do not only what their mothers did, but also what their lineages of women have done for easily a thousand years. Literally, they perpetuate their generational patterns of parenting. This is true in sexual abuse cases: this is a family secret that just never heals, and that secret is the endless cycle of abuse. These women have no idea how to change the cycle. They know it has to change and they spend lifetimes waiting for someone else to make things better and to rescue them. Sometimes, women like this just really need to look in the mirror and recognize that the face of change they are seeking is looking back at them. Truly, sometimes you just have to rescue yourself. . . .

           Ultimately, every woman has a spiritual philosophy about what a perfect mother is but not every woman believes she can ever come close to living up to that level of excellence or deserves to be on that artificial pedestal of motherhood expectation. How each woman meets the challenge of being a mother, of living up to that spiritual philosophy, will ultimately define her spiritual path for this lifetime and all her lifetimes to come. Her children will also define the motherhood spiritual philosophy by what they found in her. The cycle continues. Ultimately, it is the extraordinarily courageous woman who chooses to follow the path of maternal enlightenment and learn how to be the best mother she can possibly be.
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          So on this Mother's Day, perhaps mom's need to remember to be kind to themselves. Perhaps all children, but especially adult children need to recount the amazing things each has learned from their mothers. Then the value in the relationship can take on a deeper, more powerful, positive meaning. 


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