Excerpt from The Lightworker's Guide to Everyday Karma [2011]
The Spiritual Philosophy of What Constitutes a Perfect Mother
"No matter where you
come from, somehow you are born with a spiritual philosophy of what constitutes
a perfect mother. When your mortal mother does not live up to that spiritual
philosophy, you begin to stack up her failings. Sometimes you identify a
difficult father, but about 99% of the time, you instantly recount the failings
of your mother. Why is this?
When you are in the
heaven world, you look down on the parents you pick. If you can, you try to
communicate with your mother. You also have a unique vantage point in the
heaven world of seeing all the kinds of mothers out there and getting a good
handle on what a fantastic mother should be. When you are born, you are sure
you know what a perfect mother should be, and you are exceptionally sure of how
to identify a bad mother. However, the reality is that we pick the mother we
pick for the lessons she is going to teach us, no matter what kind of a mother
she turns out to be.
The spiritual
philosophy of what constitutes a perfect mother transcends all religions, all
cultures and all times. A perfect mother, it turns out, is a perfect mother in
all types of adversity. . . . .
A perfect mother balances
everything with grace, no matter what has happened to her in her life, whether
it is a death, job loss or hardship. She lives her wisdom. However, the reality
is that few mothers make it to the category of perfect mothers. Hint: sometimes life happens to them!
There is No
Learning in Perfection
Everyone comes here
for the experience that mortal life offers, including the experience of
motherhood. Mothers are mortal; they make mistakes, get tired and rue certain
days. Sometimes their judgment is cloudy; sometimes they do what their mothers
did, even if it was a lousy thing to do.
Mothers are often
astonished at how profoundly difficult being a parent actually is and why, for
some mothers, no matter what they do, their children do not respect them.
Mothers very often
do not only what their mothers did, but also what their lineages of women have
done for easily a thousand years. Literally, they perpetuate their generational
patterns of parenting. This is true in sexual abuse cases: this is a family
secret that just never heals, and that secret is the endless cycle of abuse.
These women have no idea how to change the cycle. They know it has to change
and they spend lifetimes waiting for someone
else to make things better and to rescue them. Sometimes, women like this
just really need to look in the mirror and recognize that the face of change
they are seeking is looking back at them. Truly, sometimes you just have to
rescue yourself. . . .
Ultimately, every woman has a
spiritual philosophy about what a perfect mother is but not every woman
believes she can ever come close to living up to that level of excellence or
deserves to be on that artificial pedestal of motherhood expectation. How each
woman meets the challenge of being a mother, of living up to that spiritual
philosophy, will ultimately define her spiritual path for this lifetime and all
her lifetimes to come. Her children will also define the motherhood spiritual
philosophy by what they found in her. The cycle continues. Ultimately, it is
the extraordinarily courageous woman who chooses to follow the path of maternal
enlightenment and learn how to be the best mother she can possibly be.
************************************************************************
So on this Mother's Day, perhaps mom's need to remember to be kind to themselves. Perhaps all children, but especially adult children need to recount the amazing things each has learned from their mothers. Then the value in the relationship can take on a deeper, more powerful, positive meaning.
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