Weddings

Yesterday, our daughter Jeanne Marie and her new husband Michael announced their marriage at a wonderful party. It was a beautiful wedding celebration with two great families joined together - for truly when you marry someone you also marry their family.

Weddings be they large or small offer us hope as we watch another new couple start out their life. We stand back and watch their proceedings, pondering our own lives, the choices we have made, the persons we did or did not marry and the life, that we still have together.

As we watch our children march down that same aisle we marched down so long ago, we hope that as parents we did a good job of preparing them for their long and interesting road ahead.

Did we give them a foundation in managing money?

Did we teach them that compassion and caring can only come from a heart that is awake, feeling and in love?

Do they have the skills it takes to manage the day in and day out give and take, the art of compromise that is the lubricant of marriage?

Did we teach them the skills of patience and understanding?

More critically, were we as parents, good examples?

There is a tendency when you watch a wedding to feel all mushy, sort of tearful inside. This is a life milestone for a person, entering into a permanent relationship. Because your son or daughter is now a married person, they are different. They look the same, but they are not the same. They have become independent, completely an adult right before your eyes.

As parents, we now must change our roles from one of active parent to inactive parent and replace that concept with one of active friend. It is time to leave the parenting behind - for if we have done our job, it is no longer needed.

The wedding itself is almost an initiation for the couple. They stand together, facing the future. Hopefully they have planned their wedding together and decided what they wanted to happen. Now they are launching their lives with hope and happiness. When this can happen, in this beautiful way it is easy for parents to ‘let go’ and embrace a whole new world of happiness for their family.