KS&L 329 The Power of a Handshake Part 2

So, what constitutes a ‘good’ handshake and what does it mean on a psychological/spiritual level?

• As you reach out your hand to the other person, it literally means that you are extending yourself to them.

• As you reach for the other person’s hand you open your hand all the way to be able to have complete palm to palm contact meaning, that you are open to the interaction.

• As you close your hand around theirs, use a firm balanced grasp. Do not deliver a crushing, weak, or limp grasp. Be very firm, business like, and direct. This action reflects the fact that you mean what you say, you are business like, fair and that you expect the same treatment in return.

• As you shake the now combined hands, up and down two or three times, not more, give an extra slight squeeze and release. This final action says that you are a professional, you get to the point, you want to do business and you expect the same in return.

The silent cues from a handshake linger with both parties for a while although they may not be consciously aware of them at the outset. As you practice getting a sense of another person through this process you may find that you develop a more mature sense of this person and of other people in your life in the process. This isn’t so much to judge someone else as it is to decide whether this is a good person to do business with and that includes people who give you care including doctors, lawyers, contractors, teachers, all people who are going to work with and for you. Learn to know people on other levels.

Can someone give a firm handshake and still be deceitful? Possibly. This will require a bit more awareness on your part. Think back to past interactions with other people. Are you able to remember their handshakes? Can you marry that memory to your experience with them?

As an experiment, for a week, after you shake someone’s hand, make either a mental or written note of your impression of this person based solely on his or her handshake. Over time, review your memories/notes and see how accurate you were. You might just be surprised.

What if you have an exceptionally small hand? How do you deliver a good handshake, especially if the person coming toward you has a hand the size of a catcher’s mitt? Do the best you can to get your fingers all the way around the palm area of the person’s hand. They will instantly recognize that you have a small hand, but the strength, which you used to execute the handshake, will linger in their memory. Literally, you were not intimidated by their size on any level. You, with the small hand, will also get a sense of whether this person makes any accommodation – literally is sensitive – to the requirements of your size. They do not crush your hand, but are inherently courteous. See how much you learned in that one exchange?

Handshakes also represent your style, your energy, your zest for life, and your passion for whatever has brought you and the other person together. Possibly changing your handshake could offer you insight into yourself. If you had a weak handshake, you may now choose not to be ‘weak wristed’. If you had a crushing handshake, you may wish to be more sensitive. You can change with insight and care.

Human interaction and reaction is based in a very large part on subtle cues. Being sensitive to these cues can go a very long way in gaining insight into the person in front of you and that is an excellent use of spiritual insight. Signing off with a strong, firm handshake!