The holidays are a great time - so we think. The truth is, most people who do the lion’s share of getting ready for the holidays are frequently overwhelmed with the volume of work that is required to get it all done. The regular schedule of day-to-day responsibilities is magnified with the endless list of extras.
We are also overwhelmed with the concept of the neediness of so many people. Someone's child is sick, someone's relative is dying or has died, it is the anniversary of a death for another person. The homeless shelter needs volunteers, your church is doing charity work and your office has adopted a family to give to at Christmas. Some people are irritable and angry in November and December and we dread living through this time with them. So with all that comes up in this window of time, we quietly ask ourselves: Is it really worth it? Is it really worth the volume of energy to get ready for Christmas or Hanukkah?
The answer is more complicated than we think. The answer may center on our concepts of service. What is service?
Service is frequently giving money, time or effort to someone in need. It is the giving of ourselves. This is easy to recognize.
However, there are other types of service that we would be wise to honor, namely the service of getting any type of celebration together. It isn't just this time of year; it can be any time of the year.
The neighbor who decorates for Halloween, the mom who never misses making the favorite birthday cake, the welcome home celebration for a service member, the delight of a Valentine's dinner or a 4th of July cookout. The Thanksgiving Dinner with a cast of thousands is a tremendous service as well. Few people appreciate the volume of planning that goes into feeding all those people, plus the decorations that accompany the food, the candles, the greens and the creative effort all create the atmosphere for any celebration. All these things are service - these creative efforts of love made visible are also spiritual service.
How do we view the volume of effort required for Christmas and Hanukkah?
December is a challenge because there seems to be so much for everyone to do:
• Shop for gifts, wrap presents
• Plan meals
• Grocery shop
• Decorate the house
• Plan parties
• Grocery shop
• Do the holiday cards, buy the stamps, write the yearly letter, collate and mail.
• Help out at school, church and/or office parties
• Grocery shop
• Make the list of food gifts to give
• Grocery shop
• Make all the food, do the baking, package the items
• Mail things
This modest, very incomplete list above usually falls to women who think they have to do it all. Getting your family members to help will reduce some stress and let everyone have the opportunity of doing service. This can be as simple as making the list and letting them make the grocery runs and some of the dinners so that you can do the extras.
The real service is in the patience of doing the mundane, day-to-day things of getting ready. People love a house filled with the smells of the holidays. If your holidays were horrific growing up, mitigate the past sadness by making the present something warmly memorable.
It is so wonderful to come home to a house beautifully decorated with bright candles and wonderful food. The element of the house and the food are tremendous service to all family members.
What makes it difficult for the person doing the planning, cooking, shopping and decorating is that people take their efforts for granted. It just looks so easy. Family members frequently don’t seem grateful for what has been done because you always do it. They are not callous or unkind; it is just that your excellent work is normal to them. Your service is transparent to them but transparent or not, it does not change the fact that it is service all the same. Even if family members do not overtly recognize it, it is appreciated on some level. You earn the karma for your efforts because you are creating the memories that they will treasure and emulate. You are teaching them what a warm holiday looks and feels like, and that lesson changes the future. That is the purpose of this work, the reason for this effort: creating a pattern of love, hard work and togetherness. This is part of the element of what makes the holidays an important example of spiritual service.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment