Sunday, November 22, 2009

KS&L 306: The Ghostly Adjudicator

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There is a television producer who has proposed an interesting pilot for a new TV show, with this premise: two family members are brought to the show because they are bickering over how to dispose of the possessions of a beloved family member who has died. They are agonizing over how their Dad would have wanted his ashes spread, or who their Mom would have wanted to have received her old fur coat, or what to do with their son’s vintage mustang car, as an example. So, on this show, a reputable psychic who is also a medium is brought in to contact the dead relative to adjudicate the argument. Once they learn what the dead person’s wishes are, then everything is resolved, everyone is happy and they all live happily ever after and even their grief is solved.


The producers absolutely believe that this show will help people resolve their differences after a loved one has died. They want to show that all anyone has to do is find a good medium, learn what their dead relative wants and everything is now OK.


Do you see the problem with this? This is just wrong on so many levels --- where does one begin!


The premise of the show is that since the living cannot resolve their differences, they need the services of a medium to find out the wishes of a dead relative. The ghost has to solve the problem. The irony is that once the medium contacts the ghost, they discover to their dismay that the ghost has given up ‘attachment’ and has let go of the past and is moving through the realms of the heaven world. Frankly, the dead just do not care what we do with their ashes, that old fur coat or the vintage mustang! What use have they of material things and really, why do they care?


It is not the job of a transitioned soul to have to adjudicate problems among family members left behind. If a soul is still hanging on to those things, then the soul has not made their required passage into the heaven world and truly, they have much bigger problems than what to do with a piece of jewelry or a set of golf clubs. One of the major lessons of dying is that you are giving up earthly things. One of the pleasures of transition is not needing earthly things. One of the milestones of soul evolution is the concept of release from attachment.


Souls need to feel that they are now, literally free to move through all the glorious school houses of the heaven world, unencumbered by the problems that their death may have engendered for the living. Every person’s death is a problem for some living person. That is part of the lesson of living and dying. Everything we do, whether it is being born or it is dying is going to have an impact on someone, somewhere, somehow. This impact, the continuing impact of living on after someone in our life dies, is the purpose of life itself, of living through all the experiences on the Earth plane and eventually all the experiences of the Heaven world. That is the very essence of the process of soul evolution.


Just because a family member may want a departed soul to resolve a family squabble, does not mean that contacting the dead soul is a karmically correct action to take. Resolving that squabble without the departed soul is the lesson!


The other profoundly disturbing element here is the concept of ‘just finding a reputable medium’ to talk to the dead. Do we just look these folks up in the phone book? Truly, how does one conduct due diligence on a medium? Some people will use word-of-mouth, or reputation. Most of the really authentic mediums do not advertise. Many of them are extremely careful how they use their expertise, because the karmic bar is set a much higher for them. Literally they are being trusted with the ability to talk to the other realms and not only is that not a minor feat, it is also a huge karmic responsibility.


Some mediums are frankly questionable. One has to approach them gingerly. Some mediums prey on the sadness of the grieving family and often tell them what they want to hear, while charging large sums of money. So just finding a medium is itself a problem.


Frankly, if all anyone had to do, was to ask the dead what their wishes are, wouldn’t it all be just so much easier? Wouldn’t grief be easier if we could get the answers to the ever-nagging questions of:

• Why did this happen?

• What were you thinking when you drove off the bridge?

• Why did you kill yourself?

• Are you ok where you are, do you miss me?

• Did you suffer horribly at the hands of your killer?

• Can you ever forgive me for what I did or didn’t do?

When you consider how profound, poignant and persistent these questions are, the question of what to do with material things, just pales in comparison.


Maybe this producer’s television pilot will be a hit, at least for a while. Maybe a tiny handful of families will get an irrelevant answer as they put off their karmic lesson. Maybe audiences will falsely believe that they can find reputable mediums in the phone book, that are able to talk to the dead. However, the truth is, that the age-old elements of grief will never be so easily solved.


The karmic lessons of living and learning from grief are demanding and no matter how much any of us want them to be different, they are not going to change. We must come to terms with our grief and we have to heal our grief and our relationships through the process of loving and helping one another day by day, through the challenging schoolhouse of earthly life.

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