KS&L 299 If You Can’t Have the One You Love . . .

We have all heard the phrase: If you can’t have the one you love, love the one you’re with! Many people think that has to do with not having the love of your life, your partner or soul mate by your side. Perhaps they believe it means to find someone to take that person’s place until the person they truly love returns, or re-enters their life.

But what if there is a slightly different take on it? What if it means to embrace an entirely new book of learning and loving? Every sojourn on the Earth plane is an opportunity to learn all the astounding facets of love. Why else would we be here? Maybe a better question would be to ponder why can’t we learn all of these lessons in the heaven world, why do we have to learn these lessons on Earth?

We have to learn these lessons on Earth because life on Earth gives us the linear time and the physical space to have a complete and focused experience. Love, just takes linear time to experience in all of its facets. Few people just ‘love’ instantly. We have to learn how to love, what love feels like and how to give and receive love.

So lets go back to our catch phrase. Lets look at some scenarios we expect and the more subtle ones we don’t expect:

• The love of your life, is the love of someone else’s life and simply cannot see you, and isn’t meant to be with you. You now have to figure out how to love who you are with, and where you can, love the experience of being with that person for whatever the reason/lesson.

• The person you are with is abusive and you have to learn how to love yourself enough to release yourself from the unpleasant lesson of learning what love isn’t. Perhaps the lesson here is to realize that you are not loving yourself when you are with this abusive person and that leaving him or her will enable you to now see yourself as a loving and lovable person.

• The one you love travels and/or is deployed all the time. If you have the good fortune to be able to have a loving relationship with this person, then you have to embrace the lesson that this type of here and gone relationship offers. You have to learn that you and you alone are responsible for your happiness and that happiness can be found in the wonderful faces of all the loving people around you.

• Someone you adore, dies and you will never ‘get to have that person’ again in this lifetime. This person could be a spouse, lover, child, parent, or best friend. The powerful lesson here is to learn to love all of the people who are still with you in this lifetime. Karma is always going to open another door when one very powerful door closes. Your job is to find the door, open it, and then to walk through it in loving grace.

• As a parent, you have done a great job of loving your children and fostering their independence. You just didn’t expect it to be so wrenching when they went off to college, married, or left home. You miss them more than you imagined you would. You have to grieve and yet celebrate their transition to adulthood and independence. This means that you have to learn to love the ones who are still with you with perhaps with a new and different focus.

Ultimately, the phrase love the one(s) you are with, means to look around you and decide that you really are not alone, that there is an ocean of great people out there to love. When you are grieving, unhappy, or lonely, you will find that you are in resonance with grieving, unhappy and lonely people. When you change, when you transform yourself into the kind of person you want to attract into your life, you go into resonance with happy, loving, healing personalities. There are lots of wonderful people out there, fascinating people with all kinds of interesting stories to tell who will willingly embrace you.

So, can’t have the one you love? Well, perhaps this lesson of love is to become the one everyone loves to be with!